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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28806861">safe again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh'>itisjosh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>onlypain [40]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>:), Anger, Angst, Character Undeath, Crying, Gen, Healing, Hopeful Ending, Hugs, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Memory Loss, Past Abuse, Post-War, Protective Wilbur Soot, Resurrection, also, fundy gets absolutely obliterated LMAOOO, hi dev i know youre reading this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:15:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28806861</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy wipes away his tears, forcing out a broken laugh.</p><p> "Me, sad? Nah. Like you said, Will," he smiles, sniffling. "Soldiers don't have the time to be sad."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>onlypain [40]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>586</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>safe again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wilbur is no longer dead. </p><p>It's an odd feeling, for sure. </p><p>He looks towards his father, standing a little straighter at the way Phil looks at him. Wilbur recognises that look, one of concern, but not for him. Phil did his best as a father, but he was was only around twenty when he found both Wilbur and Techno, barely twenty-three when he found Tommy. Wilbur knows that parenthood for him was difficult, but..<em>no</em>. Wilbur shakes his head, clearing his mind of those thoughts. He glares at his father, crossing his arms against his chest, sneering at the man who he was so entranced by. He admired Phil for everything, he was so obsessed with all the things that his dad did.</p><p>Wilbur remembers so clearly wanting to be like him when he grew up. </p><p>He supposes it's not Phil's fault for killing him. Wilbur did, after all, beg him to. "Where's Tommy?" Wilbur asks, leaning forwards, towering over his father. He ignores Eret and Ranboo in the back, wishing that Fundy wasn't there, either. He knows that Fundy doesn't love him anymore, which is fine. Wilbur no longer needs to try to regain back his son's affection, he doesn't care as much as he used to. He thinks that it's much better to admit that to himself rather than pretend. "Phil. Where the fuck is Tommy?"</p><p>"I'm assuming it worked," Phil glares back up at him, never wavering. Wilbur thinks that he got his confidence from Phil. That he gots his resistance to giving up from the man he called dad. "Will. Lovely to see you again. Sorry that I had to plunge that sword through your stomach a second time. Let's hope we don't have to do it again," the words sound vaguely like a threat, and Wilbur wonders if that's intended. "And fuck if I know where Tommy is. He's old enough to not have a bedtime." Wilbur tilts his head up, sneering down at Phil. </p><p>"And he's still your son," Wilbur reminds him. "Though I assume you don't give a shit," Wilbur turns away from him, resisting the urge to punch his dad in the face. He's never had that urge before. He's never thought about doing that to his own father, but oh, how the times change. "Lovely seeing you here, traitor," Wilbur curls his lip at the sight of Eret, shoving past Phil. "And lovely to see you, Fundy," his sneer disappears when he lays his eyes on his son. "Still my little champion," Wilbur smiles, feeling his chest hurt at the way Fundy's eyes shine with bitter sadness, like scarred over wounds that have been ripped open again. "You really do have her eyes, you know," he tells the hybrid, squeezing his shoulder. "Ranboo." Wilbur looks at the Enderman-hybrid, locking eyes with him. Ranboo immediately looks down, burning a hole in the earth with how hard he's staring at the ground. Wilbur smiles. </p><p>Good. </p><p>He pushes past the trio, wandering out of the crater he was resurrected in. He glances up at the sky, gasping when he sees droplets of rain pouring from it. He quickly raises his arm over his face, bracing himself for the crippling agony that surely will follow, frowning when there's nothing. Rain touches his face, sliding down his cheeks. He lowers his arm, blinking as he looks up at the clouds. For a moment, he forgets that he's human again. For a moment, he forgets that rain is just rain, that it's no longer a death sentence, that it won't hurt him. </p><p>Wilbur shifts uncomfortably in his yellow jumper, hating the bright colours that clash against the dull blue and grey of everything and everyone else. Wilbur looks towards Eret again, clicking his tongue at what Fundy's wearing - his old cloak, the one he found in Pogtopia. "May I have that?" Wilbur asks, watching as Fundy scrambles to throw it off of him, as if it were fire burning his flesh to the bone. He's wearing a simple t-shirt under the cloak, and Wilbur wonders where his old coat went, the one with bright blues and oranges going up and down its middle. Wilbur pulls his jumper over his head, tossing it to the side. He stands in the rain in his dark grey shirt, waiting for Fundy to hand him the cloak. </p><p>"It's all you do, huh?" Fundy laughs, tossing him the brown piece of fabric. "You just take, you take. It's all you do, you take and you take and you take and.." Fundy shakes his head, laughing bitterly. He stares at the ground, his ears flat against his head. "At least Ghostbur told me that he loved me." Wilbur snorts, tugging the cloak on over his head. </p><p>"He didn't mean it," Wilbur assures his son. "He didn't even know who you were. Don't worry, my champion," he beams, dragging a hand through his hair. "You don't love me either. I'll always love you, my boy. You'll always be my champion," Wilbur turns away, adjusting the cloak with ease, feeling it settle onto his frame easily. He stretches in it, smiling at the way it fits him, as if it had never left his body. "You've turned into a strong little fox, haven't you?" Wilbur smiles, though the words feel heavy. He wonders if he believes them himself. "I love you, Fundy. I always have, I always will."</p><p>Fundy snorts, turning away from him. "You don't have to lie to me, Wilbur. I know better."</p><p>"You don't," Wilbur rolls his eyes. "You can't just say that I don't love you. You might not love me, Fundy," he pops the collar of his cloak, "but that doesn't mean I hate you back. No matter how much you hate me and want me dead for real, I'm not going to stop loving you." Wilbur feels the rain pour, soaking his cloak and his hair, drenching his shirt and filling up his boots. He starts to walk before Fundy can say anything else, listening to the way the wood under him creaks with every step he takes. Nothing much as changed about this place, it seems. It's less blown up, a few buildings scattered around, but otherwise, it's the same. Of course, the architect is different, but that doesn't mean anything. The feeling of L'manberg is still the same. </p><p>Hollow and broken. Desolate, even if its walls are filled to the brim. L'manberg lost its charm months ago, and Wilbur wonders if anyone else has noticed. He used to love his nation, but seeing the way that it took good people and turned them into monsters has significantly lowered his affection for the country. He walks along the wooden path, listening to thunder in the distance, hearing lightning strike the ground from miles away. It isn't at all like the day he died, he thinks. No, that day was hot and filled with exhaustion, his men tired and weary and broken down by his side. His friends were all bleeding, blood trickling down the sides of their faces and out of injuries in their chests, their clothes torn to pieces, their armour broken and worn. </p><p>L'manberg has always been broken. No matter what he did, Wilbur was never able to fix it. He stands still when he hears a disc playing, recognising the melody as Mellohi. He smiles, feeling the anxiety in his chest lessen, the pit of fear in his stomach slowly fading. Wilbur's smile fades even faster when he hears sniffling, his entire body stiffening as he stares towards the bench. </p><p>Tommy is hunched over, his legs dragged up to his chest, his head resting on his knees. He's soaked to the bone, his clothes drenched and his hair wet. If Wilbur listens carefully enough, he can hear the quiet beginnings of sobbing. He feels his heart break at the sight of his little brother, quickly followed by rage. </p><p>Who the <em>fuck</em> did this to his brother? </p><p>"Tommy?" Wilbur calls out, keeping a safe distance between him and the boy. He doesn't want to get too close, he doesn't want to make this flashback or breakdown worse. He knows better than that, he knows how to handle these sorts of things, especially when it comes to Tommy. Tommy turns his head slowly, his eyes narrowing in confusion. "Hey, Tommy," Wilbur puts on his best smile, wishing that it didn't feel as fake, wishing he was better at lying to his little brother. "You're.." </p><p>"You're not Ghostbur," Tommy whispers, looking even more confused. "You're Wilbur. You're not..you're not..you're not grey, you're.." he trails off, the pieces in his head very clearly clicking together, very obviously turning. "You're alive," Tommy concludes. "You..Wilbur?" His voice breaks, and with it, Wilbur's heart. "I- I thought.." Tommy stares at him, his eyes going huge. "But.."</p><p>"I know," Wilbur murmurs, moving to sit next to Tommy. Tommy looks away, staring firmly at his jukebox, unblinkingly. "Tommy. Someone hurt you. Who hurt you? You're..upset," Wilbur wishes that he didn't sound so stupid, that he didn't feel like an idiot saying the words. "Tommy, I-" Tommy wipes away his tears, forcing out a broken laugh.</p><p>"Me, sad? Nah. Like you said, Will," he smiles, sniffling. "Soldiers don't have the time to be sad."</p><p>Wilbur looks away, biting down on his lower lip. He said that once, he remembers saying that. It was mostly to himself, but Tommy must have taken it the wrong way, he must have thought it was for him. "You're not a soldier," Wilbur looks back up at him, holding out his arms. Tommy stares at him, not moving any closer, but not moving farther away. "You're a kid, Tommy. You're my little brother. You were never made for war, Tommy. You deserve so much better." And with those words, Tommy crashes into Wilbur, wrapping his arms around him as he cries softly onto his shoulder. </p><p>Wilbur has only seen Tommy cry a few times, when they were younger. Recently, when he thought that he had lost Tubbo forever. Wilbur saw him shed one silent tear when they had been exiled from L'manberg, but never again. "I don't understand what I'm doing wrong," Tommy whispers, his voice cracking and breaking. "I can't do anything right, I don't even know why I <em>try</em>, 'cause it's never enough, it's not- it's not.." Wilbur holds his little brother closer to his chest, letting him get the words out. "Will, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me," Tommy laughs, his voice cracking. "I don't know. I don't know."</p><p>"There's nothing wrong with you, Tommy," Wilbur murmurs. "Nothing is wrong with you. Anyone who ever told you otherwise is a fucking liar," he snarls, wondering who the fuck did this to Tommy. "Tommy, who said that? Who did this?" </p><p>"You don't remember?" Tommy whispers. "You don't remember Logstedshire? I was exi- I was exiled, Will. I got kicked out of here, 'cause of Dream, and- and I made a mistake, and I..I don't..I.."</p><p>Dream. </p><p>That green fucking bastard is going to pay with his fucking <em>life</em>. </p><p>"Tommy," Wilbur murmurs, trying to keep his voice soft. "You're important. And special, and more than everyone tells you. You're so important to me and so many other people. I know it's hard to believe that when you feel like this, but I'm not lying, I promise. Tommy," Wilbur moves back a little, keeping his hands on Tommy's shoulders. "I'll kill the bitch. What he did to you- what he <em>said</em>, what he.." he shakes his head, pushing down the anger he feels. "I'm going to fucking kill him. I'll skin him alive, Tommy. What he did to you is not going to go unpunished. I will make him suffer until I finally allow him to die." </p><p>Tommy blinks at him, a laugh escaping his lips. "I..I missed you, you know. I guess you didn't really go anywhere, but Ghostbur, he wasn't..he didn't..he wasn't like you, Will. He was nothing like you. I missed you, so much, Wilbur. I didn't know what to do without you. You always told me what to do, where to go, I-" he shakes his head. "Maybe if you had still been alive, this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have been so fucking stupid, and..and.." </p><p>"No," Wilbur pulls his brother back in for another hug, resting his head on top of Tommy's. "You're not <em>stupid</em>, Tommy. You're a sixteen year old boy who has been through years worth of trauma that even the greatest soldiers have never faced," Wilbur tells him. "You're just a kid, Tommy. You never deserved anything that's happened to you. Tommy," he looks at his brother until Tommy looks back at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "No matter what happens, I will always be on your side. I love you, Tommy. I'd lay down my life for you." </p><p>"Will," Tommy shakes his head. "I don't want you to do that. I want..I just want to..not have to fight," he whispers. "I just want to live. I'm so sick and tired of surviving, Wilbur. I don't want to do it anymore. I just want to go back to the way things were. I don't even care about this discs," he laughs. "This is a fake one, this isn't mine. I stole it from Ranboo, he's got a collection of them. Tubbo doesn't even want to look me in the eyes, and.." </p><p>Tommy breathes out. "I don't know, Will. I just don't know. I'm scared," he admits. "I'm terrified. I thought things would be okay after we won, and then you died, and..I didn't understand why you left without saying goodbye. Wilbur," Tommy locks eyes with him. "If you leave again, please, at least say goodbye." Wilbur feels his world stop, hitting him all at once.</p><p>Tommy is afraid he'll leave.</p><p>Wilbur is a bad person.</p><p>Dream hurt Tommy. </p><p>"Tommy," Wilbur lean forwards. "I'm never leaving. Not again. No matter what. I promise you, TommyInnit," Wilbur wishes that the words didn't hurt as much to say. "No matter what happens, we will stick together. I'll never leave your side. Tommy," he hates how his words sound desperate and pained. "I know it'll take time, but I promise. I <em>promise</em>. I'm not the same as I was. I'm going to make things better. I'm going to fix all of this. I promise, Tommy. I'm going to fix this, and you're going to stop fighting. You're not going to keep going to war anymore, okay? I'm going to fix this, all of it. I'll fix it, for you. I'll fix it for you, Tommy. All of it, every last problem, I'll make it better." </p><p>His little brother takes a shaky breath before he turns his head. Tommy's eyes hone in on his own, and Wilbur doesn't dare to look away. The silent <em>I promise</em> at the end of all of his sentences doesn't seem to have gone unnoticed by Tommy. "I..okay," he whispers. "I believe you. I believe you. I..can you say it again?" Tommy sounds like a kid, he finally sounds like he's a kid instead of a soldier. "Just..once. I don't know, that's..that's dumb, I'm s-"</p><p>"Say what, Tommy?"</p><p>"That.." he goes silent. "That you love me. You don't have to, you don't-"</p><p>"I love you, Tommy," Wilbur tells him. "I love you more than you could ever imagine. And I will never stop, I promise. I love you, TommyInnit. I'm never going to stop. You'll be okay," he promises. "We'll be okay. Everything will be okay, I promise. Things always get better, and I'll do anything to make them get better faster, for you. I love you, okay? We should get out of the rain-"</p><p>"Not right now," Tommy murmurs. He leans on Wilbur's shoulder, closes his eyes. "Thank you. For..all of it, you know. I'll believe it, I will. Just not now." </p><p>Wilbur smiles, sliding off his cloak, holding it above Tommy's head, wrapping his other arm around his shoulders. "Take all the time that you need, Tommy. Like I said - I'm never going anywhere." </p><p>They sit in silence for hours, years, and Wilbur swears to himself that he'll do anything to make sure Tommy never hurts again. </p>
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